Last night i dream of him... before i dream about him i have a bad dream with someone else who closed with me,, someone who help me try to forget about him... but when i wrote something about that bad dream.. he ask me about my feel..
"are you okay" he start the conversation... and we start to share again..
at the night i dream about him... i dream he come to my house like he usually do before.
he ask me to go With him.. Finally we go together, he take to the beautiful place..only me and him in there... he put his head on my shoulder and say "i miss you.. " that make me surprised..
i try to look at him, but i can't speak anything just see him..we are so closed in there..
i don't know why but i feel so bad that time, i choose to stand from the place that we sit together.. i see him standing to beside me, he gave something that make me crying, a invitation card... a wedding invitation.. i see his name in there.. it's hurt me.. he saw me crying and he hug me so hard.. he say something in my ears,, "I'm sorry.." that words make my felt more hurt than before.. i run away and still crying..i don't know where i go just keep running and never look back till i can see someone else standing in front of the street. he call my name and he come to me.. He's look like old just like my parents he say "why are you crying?did my son hurt you?"
i just keep crying don't answer his question, he try to ask me again.
"do you love him?" and i don't know why i start to stop crying..i ask him back.
"are you his father?" and he answer me "yes, I'm..and he tell me about you."
he give me the same invitation card, ya i see his name again, i feel like my heart is broke..i fall to the street and just see the invitation card, i don't know i just can't forget the way he hug me.. i still feel it,, feel like he hug me..i still can hear his voice in my ears, still can smell his body..but it's like a warning.. i should try to forget him... :'(
i feel so glade when it just a dream, but when i remember that dream again i feel like something break my heart it's like something squeeze my heart till i hard to breath..
i scare to lose him..I'm so scared to lose him...I'm scare that dream will come true.. I'm not ready for that.. :(
ya ALLAH...what should i do.... i can't control this feel.. :(
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- n_dha
- JAKARTA, JAKARTA SELATAN, Indonesia
- aku adalah seseorang yang cinta sekali dengan menulis, walapun pemula menulis bagi ku adalah cara mengekspresikan diri ku kepda orang lain, karena dengan menulis banyak hal yang akan kita berikan kepada orang lain yang membacanya terutama tulisan yang dapat memberikan manfaat bagi semua pembacanya...
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thanks for comment... b^_^d